My journey of belief

I am quite a religious person to the eyes of most of my friends who have known me reasonably well. My religion is Buddhism. But why, with so many other religions in where I had been raised up, Taiwan, have I eventually chosen Buddhism to be my religion?

My earliest memory about religion was from my 3rd elder sister when I was about 4 and she was 14 years old. One morning she shared some of her lollies with me which she said was given by the church down the road of where we lived. I asked sister to take me to the church to get my own portion. But at the time we got to the church, nobody was there and its gate was shut. Sister told me something about Jesus in front of the gate. She said to me that Maria bore Jesus, and Jesus was crucified on a cross.

We walked back home with questions in my mind, why people were so cruel as such that they dared killing a good man in a terrible way. I remembered I also asked sister to take me along next time when she went to church so that I can have my own lollies.

Apparently my sister hadn’t invited me to the church ever since that day because my next memory about religion was when I was in the junior high school at the age of about 13. In between these two encounters with new religion, I was taught by my mother to worship anything that was believed to bless people with their wishes.

I remembered that in a trip to mum’s maiden home in the village, mum asked a fortune teller to write my name and date of birth on a piece of red cloth. With that red “sacred document” in hand, we walked together to a big tree by a creek. The tree was said to be as old as over 300 years with twisting and intercrossing roots spread over a radius of about 3 meters forming many cavities on the ground. Each cavity was full of red cloth. Mum found one cavity that was not so full, and inserted my red “sacred document” in it. In front of that cavity, mum placed a plate of roasted chicken as offering to the deity believed to be living in that tree, and prayed for my rapid and safe growth.

While I was growing older, I was gradually getting away from the polytheism. Though I had a chance to have briefly learned a bit of Buddhism during my teenage period, I basically believed that science explained everything, and took all sort of religions as superstitious. This had been so until the day when I watched a movie about how the Roman army persecuted Christians. When I saw how those devoted Christians were tortured or even fed to lions and yet wished God bless their enemy, my tears streamed down with blissful joy.

This unforgettable experience occurred in my early twenties. Then, on one Sunday morning, two graceful ladies knocked the door wanting to preach “Kingdom’s message”. They were from Jehovah’s Witness. They gave me two of their pamphlets and invited me to come to their assembly. I didn’t accept their urge of baptising me, but I had identified myself as Christian for about 5 years since then. During the one and half years serving as sub-lieutenant trainer at air force cadet training centre, I spent many Sunday mornings alone in a nearby school yard reading bible while my colleague officers enjoyed their free movie session in the cinema.

The process converting to a Buddhist, starting from around the year 1977, was very unobvious. But it could be due to the expectation from my parents for a son of me and my wife after our marriage in 1977. Year after year, my wife’s pregnancy just remained no hope. Though we had a lovely daughter in 1982, however, a son was so important to Chen family that the pressure was getting bigger and bigger.

Some enthusiastic friends and relatives offered their secret remedies of bearing a son. These included medication, improvement of the Feng Sui of our bedroom, walking under the lanterns on the night of Lanterns Festival, non-stopping herbal drinks and etc.

Finally came a good friend of mine who gave up all his possessions preparing to be a Buddhist monk, he suggested that I should chang to vegetarian diet in order to induce the birth of a son. He pointed out that having a mind of non-killing is the cause of giving birth to a good son. He meant vegetarian diet was equivalent to non-killing.

Not long after his suggestion, an Indian American, who was the foreign technician at where I worked, urged me to convert to vegetarian diet when he knew my wish of bearing a son. With these two coincidences, I pledged to practice vegetarian diet.

About six months later, my wife was proved pregnant, and a subsequent fetus liquid dye examination proved it a boy. I had thus fulfilled my mission by producing a son for the Chen family.

But this should not be the reason I converted to Buddhism from Christianity. When my friend, who later on became a Buddhist monk, urged me to try vegetarian diet, he also presented me a set of books titled “弘一大師傳” (Biography of Master Hong Yi). This book sets out how the master achieved a highly respected status from being a less careful artist. The way and determination of how Hog Yi followed Buddha’s teaching to achieve enlightenment touched my mind. From reading his biography I gradually grew interest in reading other Buddhist publications and attended many Buddhist activities.

Everyone will have his course to become part of a certain religion. To my viewpoint, religion is a set of instructions which the believers follow to be happy. Everyone, depending on their uniqueness, will get into a course naturally to go through a journey of belief and eventually settled down on one which he will embrace till the end of his life on this planet.

All the five major religions are the same to me because they all teach the believers to love others. By theory, if all the believers touch their minds and completely follow what their religions have taught them, the world should not be as violent as today. What has gone wrong is a big study for the intelligent to sort out.

Buddha’s words about the various forms of saviours impress me a lot: “應以何身得度﹐即現何身而為度之” (meaning that the One will appear in the right form to achieve that follower’s wish if that is most suitable to him). So what? Don’t you agree that Jesus, Mohammed, Jehovah, Brahma, Buddha, etc are just the same One who will appear in the most suitable form to save the unique individual?

E-mailing vs. Pen & Paper

This picture shows the first page of the letter I wrote to my, then in September 1975, girlfriend, Jean. The paper has become yellowish and crispy along the edge. The ink has faded a bit. Yet the emotion of the author, Morris, is even more lively dancing all over the page. The antique atmosphere of this 31 year old paper thickens the writer’s feeling even further. I reckon this effect can only be created by pen and paper.

This letter was written on 19-9-1975, the day before the full moon night of mid autumn when the majority of the Chinese community are being busy planning a journey home for a sweet family reunion. Jean was then still in her last year of education study in Kaoshiung, a Southern city of Taiwan, while I was just discharged from the two year military service and was then working in Taipei, Northern city of Taiwan. Being a couple in love and being unable to be together on such a traditional yet romantic day, the author was driven by his emotion and wrote this 3 page long love letter stating how terribly he was missing her.

In the past 31 years, I witnessed the advance of electronic technology in the area of communication. The telex that was an important telecommunication equipment to all offices in 70’s required the typist to make a band with perforated holes first before she could send the message to the destination. Then, a more user friendly machine called fax was invented and commonly used in offices in early 80’s. This tool is still taking its place in most of the offices today but they are not used as often now. Mid 80’s saw the first generation of mobile phone on the road. It was as big and heavy as a 2kg dumbbell. Internet and personal computer made a revolutionary change to the telecommunication from mid 90’s. I am not sure when did the text message begin on the cell phones. Suddenly in 2006 I see everyone including me, the old fellow, are sending text everywhere. A friend of mine sent over 1500 text messages in one month.

With this kind of magic gadget around, people virtually don’t need pen and paper to get their message across. How convenient and speedy it is with the latest technology. But I notice that the more advanced these devises are the less sincerity an intimacy people will get from electronic messages. Do you feel the same receiving a conventional birthday or wedding card from your letter box on the road side and receiving a beautifully decorated e-card with romantic background music through your computer or mobile? What do you think is missing from the electronic format? Isn’t it the caring or sincerity that only pen and paper can convey touches people’s heart more than just the very plain message? That is why a hand-made card with some lines of caring words always wins the recipient’s heart more than a well printed and expensive card with typed message.

Hmm, that’s right, sincerity counts. Yesterday when I planned to scan one of the love letters I wrote for my wife to be included in this posting, I asked my wife to help find them from the storage compartment. I found a girlish blush flew over her face when she passed that bunch of dusty papers to me. I knew that the sincerity fed into those letters via pen and paper in the past 31 years were not just still existing but even more thickened like a vintage wine from many years of storage.

Relationship Issues

Relationship issue has been a crucial cornerstone in maintaining a harmonious society since human being emerged on the earth. I believe this is so because in Confucius’ day, which is about 2500 years ago, there was already education delivered on relationship issues.

The Confucians categorized relationship into 5 main issues saying: Leader & group member; parent & children; husband & wife; siblings’ relationship; friends’ relationship. Among the 5 types of relationship, Confucians believe husband/wife relationship is the foundation of maintaining a harmonious society. So if one can manage to hold a marriage of average quality level over 20 years, he is contributing a lot to the peacefulness of the society.

It will be the 30th anniversary of our marriage on the next 15th of January. Across the 30 year period, there was no serious quarrelling or even a physical fighting between us. Yet, that doesn’t mean the prince and the princess lived happily throughout their marriage life. There were argues on tiny matters from time to time. The place where our conflict occurred most often is the kitchen. Each of us has our own ways and ideas in making a dish.

For example, I tend to add some corn flour to thicken the soup that comes out of the vegetable in stir fry so that the flavour in the soup can evenly coat over the vegetable. But Jean prefers to turn the heat up high to vaporize most of the soup. So we often criticize each other about cooking differentials in the kitchen. The drama naturally resulted in an unpleasant dinner.

There are other areas where we can start a cold war lasting a couple of days such as child discipline, holiday ideas and various other day-to-day matters. The result of the war normally ended up with an apology from me initiatively, and Jean usually accepted it by saying ruefully: “mei2 shi4” meaning there was nothing happened signalling the end of the war.

Most of my family friends are leading a harmonious marriage relationship except one who had failed his first marriage and was going through a breaking up process with his second marriage recently. I review these good and bad cases and come to a conclusion that to maintain a good relationship, the husband has to be a modest type of person, and either side has to have a reasonable level of tolerance. My parent taught me with an old saying: “there is no one-hand clap” meaning a fight will not erupt if the other side takes no reaction.

I am very grateful that my parent had taught me good values and shaped me into a modest type of person so that I can enjoy the fruit of various relationships.

In the above mentioned 5 categories, Confucians believe that marriage relationship leads the other 4 ones because marriage is something to do with “manufacturing” the next generation. Without a harmonious marriage, a decent citizen can by no means be produced for the society, thus a peaceful world can not be developed. Based on this logic, don’t you think we, the married people, are bearing a very important mission if we mean to contribute to the human society?

When I was 24

This picture was shot in 1975, during the spring season. I was then serving as political trainer sub-lieutenant at the air force cadet training centre based in a small town called Huwei (a vegetable farming area in the mid west coast of Taiwan).

In the picture, I am on the far right. The one on the far left was my colleague, Chou Zhonghou. I left the air force in June 1975 which was the end of my 2 year obligatory service, and Chou Zhonghou took over my position. The two officers in the middle were my colleagues whose name I can not remember.

Many of my friends, whom I have shown this photo to, would usually comment on my good looks. Some of them tried to match me with someone they knew. There was a maid working in the student centre as a clothes alternator who arranged a meeting for me with her daughter. At the same time, a colleague introduced me to a girl in April. He took me travelling to Kaoshiung, a harbour city in Southern part of Taiwan, to meet her.

The rain poured down by the time when we arrived her residence, and we did not have an umbrella to prevent us from getting wet. So at the time of meeting her, both I and the match-maker were drenched in water. However, the first glance of her really impressed me, and I said in my mind she is the one I want to marry. Her name is Cheng Chen. She was studying to be a school teacher for the last year in the university.

The next day, the match-maker arranged a tour for us to a nearby recreation area by Cheng Ching Lake. He aimed at seeing some progress between me and Chen. Unfortunately, both of us were very shy and conservative and in the whole day I only asked her silly questions like: hey, Miss Cheng, do you have sisters or brothers?

Happy times passed really fast. We said goodbye to her and took the evening train back to the air force cadet training centre. Throughout the journey, I had been in silence and my mind was filled with Cheng Chen's smiling images.

After many letter exchanges (actually I wrote her letters most of the time), and a few personal visits, our intimacy had developed to a degree which convinced the parents of both sides that they we were an inseparable couple. So on the 15th of January 1977, we were married.

Taiwan in 1960's

This picture could be taken in 1964 when I was in the first year of junior high school. People in the picture were: mum, me, nephew Yizou, 2nd brother-in-law, and nephew Yishi.

Life in Taiwan during the 1960's was not easy however, the general economy was taking off. Taiwan Sugar Company was then the biggest foreign exchange earner for this country. The average income was low. For instance, the monthly wage of my 4th sister working as an accountant for a straw woven hat company was only at NTD250.-, equivalent to USD6.20 in 1964.

Compare to the majority of Taiwanese, my family should be above the average because not only that we owned a house, we ran a grocery shop in the small town called Qing Shui. However, I saw how mum had to be working very hard at both home and the shop everyday from early in the morning till late in the night in order to help my father to make the balance meet.

My dad left the grocery shop to my 3rd sister and mum to run while he was in a neighboring town working for a timber mill as a technician.

I was in my 6 year high school period starting from 1964. All high school students were compulsorily required to shave off their hair during the days in high school. The education authority believed that it was easier to discipline high school boys when the hair ban was in place. This hair ban had been a controversial issue, and finally it became a history after 1980.

Though life was not easy those days, people were generally happier than nowadays. Crime was rarely heard of. A treat of a bowl of plain noodle soup in a nearby food stool would make the child in full grin.

After all happiness is not depending on abundance of material like nowadays. It is generated from a balanced normality of all aspects.

Amitofuo.

Chen family in 1954

This photo was taken in 1954 when I was 3 years old.

I still have the memory about that day. I helped moving a chair to the court yard for my mum. It was a cloudy day and the photographer was meant to arrive in the morning.

From right are: 4th sister, eldest sister, father, 3rd sister, mother holding my younger sister, 3rd cousin, me, aunt, 2nd sister, 2nd cousin.

My uncle was then working in Japan so he was not in the picture. I was told that he had married to a Japanese woman. Uncle is tall and handsome. My mother told me that the younger sister of my uncle's Japanese wife loved my uncle too. So there was fightings between this pair of sisters for the sake of my uncle. The younger sister won the battle and ousted her sister at last.

My eldest cousin is not in the picture too. She had married to a police at the time of photo.

As I am the only boy in my family, I get the most of love from sisters and my parent. However, I have never been spoild by all the love. I have been a good boy, a good student, a good worker, a good husband and a good father.

The first 3 generations of Chen family in Taiwan

My great grand father immigrated to Taiwan at the age of 9 with his elder relatives from Fujian province of China. My great grand mother seated in the middle in the picture was widowed at around 65. My grandfather and grandmother had two sons. My father with a hat is the younger one. The other taller young man is my uncle who emigrated to Japan during the world II.

My grandfather was a carpenter. He was quite successful in his career because during his peak time in the furniture manufacturing business, there were over 10 carpenters working for him.

I am the 4th generation of Chen family after this branch has immigrated to Taiwan. Then on the 12th of September 1992, I brought my own family of 4, together with my mother, to Auckland of New Zealand.

Amitabha

I created my first blog site yesterday using "Mind, Body & Happiness" as my blog site title.

I thought this title is rather technical or accdemic so I wanted to change it to "Amitabha". This is a term used in the Pure Land school of Buddhist meaning: awake, justice and pure. These 3 characters are like a passport to the realm of eternal happiness.

Any happiness that our sensory organs can catch only exist temporarily. Shakamuni Buddha noticed this fact and felt sorry for all the sentient beings thus he delivered various ways of cultivating the above mentioned characteristics in order to help sentient beings to attain the eternal happiness.

Some might feel it is an unattainable goal, however, I believe that the more effort we put into it the more happiness we can attract. If we do nothing we gain nothing. Doesn't this sound logical?

A Resignation Tide Occuring

On May 4 of 2006, I resigned from my position as a programme advisor. About one month later, a very close friend of mine also resigned today. Just happened yesterday, the supervisor of his IT team also resigned. There are totally 14 colleagues resigned up to date sine the company launched a dramatic reforming measure 4 months ago. This kind of high staff turn over can hurt a company's operation badly. So I believe that the big boss must be in a miserable state right now thinking what is the problem.

People resigns for more or less reasons, and the reasons are mainly coming from a hard confliction in the mind among various factors. The body reacts toward these thoughts and consequently begins to make you feel tired, anxious and frustrated etc. Finally an action is triggered which is sending a resignation notice. Relieved..., then followed by whatever feelings varied from people to people.

Friends, if you are in bad mood, try these: a walk on the beach or park, a hot bath, a cup of tea, meditation, massage or reflexology.

I hope my friend who resigned today will have a good sleeping tonight and if he gets a feeling of loss, he will use any of the above remedies.