An incurable disease
I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in June 2005. Having never been sick except some ailments that were not as big as the one I was told by the neurologist at the end of the consultation visit that afternoon in his Glenfield clinic. I was explained what this disease was about and was told by the doctor that it was so far an incurable disease but medication is available to help get its symptoms under control. I thought my life was nearly coming to the end. So in October, I took one week of my annual leave for holiday and flew to Sydney where my 4th sister lived. The main purpose of this trip was to say goodbye to her. But the doctor later corrected my perception of it that PD is incurable at the moment, definitely is not a life threatening disease.
Medication
Having told me all the basic information of my PD, doctor asked me if I would like to take medicine to compress the symptoms I had experienced at that stage being: depression, tremor on right hand, nervousness when doing serious jobs. I said, "No, I am not prepared mentally to take medication today. Let me contemplate it for a few days" "that's alright, a lot of patients chose no medicine at the first visit. Feel free to call me to get your prescription when you are prepared."
The annual review at work
The boss whom I worked for had scheduled to interview me for the annual review by which the top boss determined how much of the pay rise was fair to me, and this was due to happen in August. My tremor was getting more serious week by week. Driving was becoming more challenging to me as it stressed me more and more, and so I relied on my colleagues' support in driving me around to the various venues wherever we were supposed to attend any activity. I said to myself that my tremor mustn't be seen by the boss on my annual review day otherwise my employment will be broken.
That day came finally
I was just 54 years of age at the time of seeing my employment under threat from my ill-fated disease. My daughter was not yet fully independent financially after her graduation in 2005, and my son was still in his form 5 year of the high school. No, I was not allowed to lose the job. So about 2 months before the interview day was up, I called the neurologist to ask for my prescription.
I anticipated a full effect from the medicine called Medorpa to seamlessly cover up my symptoms. However, I could not feel anything good or bad after one week of medication. The next visit was after the interview. Even though I could request to reschedule the visit, I had no confidence that the adjusted medication would make much difference, so I left the result of the interview to the hands of my fate.
That day came finally. I travelled to the office with a heavy heart. I was seated opposite to a swivel chair across a table awaiting the boss to inquire me with some queries relating to my performance on the job.
I took several deep breath trying to make myself look more relaxing, however, I was still able to sense the slight trembling on my fingers. By the time I had been seated and got my notepad and pen set out on the table, the boss walked toward the meeting room lightly and elegantly as he used to be. I was told some months later in a company social function that he like dancing and had learned ballet during his high school days in South Africa.
Before long, he appeared at a spot one step before me and reached his right hand to greet me. "Nice to see you Morris, how are you?", "Nice to see you boss, I am well, thank you". I reached my hand to shake with his, and at the moment my palm was moving toward his, I could see the fingers were in apparent tremor. I quickly grabbed his and shook wholeheartedly with the best smile I could make trying to hide the trembling hand. But he spotted it.
An instant wit flush helped me out
My boss asked me, in a way that was far from an ordinary inquiry, to raise my hand again after we had finished the mutual greeting. "no, no, wait, wait a minute, show me your hand again. Why did I see it was shaky. Anything wrong with it?" asked quite aggressively.
My thoughts were spinning swiftly for a reasonable reply or tactical reaction to flood over the challenge I faced. Suddenly came up from nowhere, I saw in my mind screen a group of Maori dancers waving both of their hands back and forth across the front face with a slight vibration seen on the hands. Someone in one of our Maori culture workshops did pop up this question to ask the program presenter as to what the frequently seen hand vibrating in the Maori dancing stand for? and the answer was simply the symbolization of the ocean current the migrating Maoris experienced during their adventure in coming to the Aotearoa.
Immediately I raised up my arms and demonstrated an elegant Maori greeting gesture by shaking my hands vigorously, "oh! nothing wrong, I have been applying the Maori greeting culture in places whenever possible to enforce the learning to my colleagues and students, and so my hands seem to have been tuned to behave like that." And this nervous episode was over, and we got back to business. At the end of the meeting, the boss complimented me a bit and gave me a figure saying that because of my effort in the job I deserved that percentage of wage raise. Then he sent me off by the door and reminded me the pay rise will reflect in the upcoming pay slip.
I could not drive -
Once you have lost your health, you are destined to see a more rapid physical deterioration than healthy people. The first problem that came up to me was the bad tremor on right leg.
On one sunny morning, we were supposed to attend the PA meeting in the city. I volunteered to take 4 other PA's in my car to help reduce the worsening Auckland traffic. My driving behaviour was reputable among our team members, soon all the vacant seats were filled.
We went on the journey to the venue smoothly, and when we were beginning to go on the slope leading to the harbour bridge, I found my right foot sole was not able to press the accelerator down and steadily fix it to maintain a desired speed. It rhythmically press down and then release the pedal repeatedly. I immediately realized this was the tremor of my PD causing the problem. This uncontrollable involuntary foot movement is dangerous to driving. Since then I gradually avoided driving, and eventually I gave up driving from 2008 when my insurer knew my situation and advised me to stop driving because in case any accident happened, my PD could be blamed no matter what.
