Unable to cut it through, yet sorting makes it more tangled

15/07/2012 Sunday

“What does life mean to me?”. I learn; I work; I take my responsibility, and etc. Are these what life is all about?

When Jean is out shopping and Chenny is out teaching, and Spot is sleeping next to my feet on the floor. When my surrounding is so quiet, my thought begins to wander, and it always lands on the topic such as “what does life mean to me?”

My logical part of the brain immediately searches in the archive for the most matching answer, but before long, it says to me that it has run out all the ideas and it gets no answer for me. At this moment, sometimes I recalled the Script in the Diamond Sutra which throughout its content states all the paradox of every aspect the Buddha tried to make his disciple understand.

“All of the phenomena are illusory and are real at the same time.” If I use this kind of statement as a template and put my question into it, then it sounds like this -- “life is elusive and is real.” Then, what Buddha tried to explain to me might be: “hey! Kuei, whether your life is elusive or real, don’t be too serious about and should be serious about, just live your every day as it is and no more other meanings and no less than any other meaning.”

It sounds very insane, but what else do you think is not? Perhaps this is the path toward enlightenment; and is not the path toward anywhere.

I got to be hurry

01/07/2012 Sunday
Yesterday could be the coldest winter day in Auckland. When I started my early morning meditation, I felt very cold, so cold that I put my gloves on, grabbed a duvet to cover my lap to keep warm so as to get the meditation going.

I have indulged myself in learning or exploring new areas of skill, for example, growing vegetable, repairing household appliances, typing with a dictation software, learning advanced Excel formulas and etc., in the past three or four years. Last month, I have turned more attention to the cultivation of spirituality realizing that nothing that I have acquired will be brought along to the grave. With this understanding, I have taken my daily spiritual exercise more seriously.

Why do I think I have to be more serious on the path of spiritual cultivation? Because I believe in reincarnation. The theory of reincarnation states that all beings on the planet are subjected to be permanently trapped in the cycle of birth, death and rebirth. And we have no control about where will we be reborn after our death. It is impossible that all of us will be reborn into the royal family to enjoy a good life, and even if we were, we will die again and be reborn to somewhere we are fear of -- to Africa that is constantly in short of food; to realm of animal that is born to be slaughtered by the butcher for food. Knowing that all of the beings are suffering from all sorts of fear, ancient sages taught us ways of liberation, assuring that there are hope and methods to set us free eventually.

If I can live up to 72 years long like my father, hey guys, I got only 10 damn years to live. And therefore this is my realization of the imminence and seriousness of doing my spiritual exercise.