1992 was the year when we immigrated to New Zealand. To start this big move, I came by myself alone in March in order to find a right home for the family to live in. During this stage, apart from looking for a house, I was also seeking for local Buddhist group where I could have social life and spiritual practice.
Through phone book, I got in touch with a Buddhist group called Dorje Chang. I explained the purpose of my visit. The man who met me asked me what kind of Buddhism I liked to be in. I really had no idea when I was asked with this question. But somehow, I described something like sitting in meditation. So he thought I liked Zen tradition and gave me a number of Zen Society.
The organizer of the Auckland group of Zen Society was a kind elderly called Jim. He asked me to meet him in their regular sitting venue in a library in Ponsonby. I had my first time ever formal sitting with a group of about 10 Zen Buddhists, all were Europeans, that evening. Despite the numbness on legs after the sitting, I found I really enjoyed the solemn atmosphere and the serenity of the zendo setting. Thus, I became a regular attendee of this group till I left for Taiwan to fetch my family in June.
In one of the sitting sessions, Jim announced that he was going to organize a weekend zen retreat to be held in a camping field in Swanson, Western Auckland in May. The fellow practitioner sitting next to me that evening urged me to experience this wonderful activity. So I enrolled on.
It was a cold Friday evening. The winter was almost there when the zen retreat began. Jim was the first one arriving the camp with full load of food in his yellow Ford station wagon. I volunteered to help unloading the stocks. Before long, it was almost dark and everyone had arrived with smiley face.
The zendo would be set up in the central activity hall. Jim assigned each of us a task to be completed before the formal retreat commencement ritual that night. My assignment was to wipe the zendo wooden floor sparkly clean with some other fellow helpers. By 7pm, all the tasks were done, and we all gathered in the dinning room for Jim’s instructions about this activity.
The activity would formally commence from the start of dinner. The dinner was of vegetarian dishes. Complete silence would be kept throughout the retreat period. Not even a wink of eye to each other when we encountered on the paths of the field. This was aimed to keep us focus on our mind all the time. All activity sessions would be signalled by means of bell, wood block. Actually this activity is a mini size of a traditional zen monastic life. Wow, by accident I was put in this kind of experience. Wouldn’t it be cool?
The dinner began finally. I was really hungry. We all sit in silence on our seats waiting for the rice to be passed to you. When it arrives, you scoop some in your bowl according to your need. Then wait for the other side dishes to come around and you scoop the right amount into your plate. And when the dish passing is finished, you start eating your meal. We were suggested before the dinner that the process of meal time was a training of mindfulness.
After dinner, only a couple of volunteers were helping washing and tidy up in the kitchen, the rest of us walked to zendo upon hearing the striking of the wooden block. Zendo was illuminated only by two candles stood beside Buddha’s statue. Along the walls of the two sides were two rows of sitting mattress, called Rahu. The leading monk was a Kiwi who was ordained in L.A., called Mike. He led us to do 15 minute walking zen followed by 30 minute sitting zen. What impressed me a lot was Mike’s shadow on the wall. His shadow radiated sort of concentration of his mind. I believed it was the result of constant practice.
Night meditation was over on the bell rings. Mike led us to walk out of zendo. Then it was time for all sorts of individual needs such as a cup of tea, toilet, shower or whatever, but everyone had to be in the bed before the wooden block was striken.
Four persons shared a hut of two bunks. Nobody shared the hut with me, so I had more space to keep my personal belongings. It was really cold. The bedding I brought for this retreat was not warm enough, but it was only a two night stay anyway. I said to myself this could be the first time in my life I would be in silence for two whole days. Wow! How cool it is.
The wooden block sounded again when it was still very dark. It was 4:45am. My first thought when I was woken up by the block striking was about the days when I went through my new soldier training in Taiwan many years ago. I dressed up quickly and quietly walked to the washing room. The whole room was full of steam because everyone was having a morning shower.
The second block striking meant gathering in zendo for sitting meditation, or razen. That was a sitting session before the breakfast. How cold it was in the spacious zendo early in the morning, but it might be the best time for mindfulness training. Besides coldness, I heard stomach rumbling sound here and there. Everyone must be very hungry. What a distraction! But again, this is what practice is about.
After breakfast, there was a short break for everyone to sort out whatever was needed to be done prior to the morning sessions. I only remembered there were endless sitting meditations and walking meditations in the second day of the retreat. For a few times, I fell asleep during razen. Encouragingly, I had short moments of mind stillness. That stillness really made me feel an indescribable joy. Some people term it the Dharma joy.
The third day was half day activity. We did a lot of cleaning on the building, windows, kitchen floor. Jim later explained that this cleaning tasks we had done was called working zen. It was a time to train our mind to concentrate on what we were doing. By the way, we gave the rented facility back to the landlord in clean condition.
After the lunch, we chanted a verse and it concluded our retreat. At this moment, many of the attendees took a deep breath and made a big grin and began to talk and talk loudly. We said good bye to each other. Although I said to one of the fellow Buddhists that I really enjoyed and would like to join again later, I found all my time was spent for my family after I brought them over in September 1992 and could not do what I had said.
I hope all the people I met in that retreat are well and are practicing their Buddhism as diligently as before.
