In the picture is the couple who helped us babysitting Chenny after my wife’s maternity leave was over and had to go back to her teaching job. They are Mr. and Mrs. Guo. Mr. Guo’s full name is Guo Bin Wu 郭斌武, which carries a meaning as “being courtesy and heroic”.
Today I like to write some of his stories for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we owe him a lot in terms of the sacrifice he made in looking after Chenny. Secondly, he just passed away due to his long term stomach illness in November 2008, so this post serves as a commemoration to him.
Following the local custom, we called him Guo Yeye meaning Grandpa Guo, and his wife Guo Nainai meaning Grandma Guo because Chenny was supposed to adress them Guo Yeye and Guo Nainai.
By the time when Chenny was to be delivered, my parents being 72 years old were no longer physically fit enough to look after a baby for us during the daytime when we were away at work. We were referred to Guo Nainai, who lived near to where we lived in Taipei city. She politely declined our request at first because Guo Yeye was turning 65 and would soon be discharged from his job in an administrative position in the National Security Headquarter. They had planned to live a retirement life style. We were quite worried as the date of expected labour approaching.
After Chenny was given birth, we tried to ask for their assistance again. This time Guo Nainai nodded. We later knew from other neighbours that because Guo Yeye committed to spare his time to give Guo Nainai a hand in caring the baby. We were relieved and grateful. We knew this was due to the profound loving-kindness of this elder couple.
Prior to giving Chenny to Guo Nainai’s care, Chenny had lived with us for 6 weeks till my wife’s maternity leave expired. During this period we had already learned Chenny was a tough baby to look after. He cried a lot. He was very active when not in sleep. He was awakening easily by small noise. He ate a lot but would suddenly not want to eat any for no reason for a couple of days which made the carer worry. So, by the time when we handed Chenny’s care over to them, we felt sorry and guilty for Guo Yeye and Guo Nainai. Fortunately Chenny was a good looking baby that they loved him instantly when they held him.
At the end of their first day care, I went to fetch Chenny with nervousness worrying that Chenny might have given them a hard time. I knocked on the door; Guo Nainai came to open the door for me. Guo Yeye was holding Chenny in sleep. I asked in low voice “is everything alright?” Guo Yeye smiled shyly and replied “not too bad.” Followed by a faint sigh almost undetectable but somehow I caught it. In my mind I said to myself “gee, Chenny did give them a hard time on the very first day.”
For polite reason Guo Yeye always replied “not too bad today” when I asked how Chenny behaved that day. Other neighbours who dropped in to see them actually witnessed how difficult Chenny was in Guo’s care, and how patiently Guo Yeye/Nainai were with Chenny. They told me that whenever they dropped in, they saw Guo Yeye either holding the finally falling into sleep baby in his arms or was swaying a crying baby trying to calm him down. They predicted that soon Chenny would be rejected from Guo’s care when their energy and patience ran out.
Day after day, month after month, we had lived with uncertainty of seeing Chenny rejected from Guo Yeye/Nainai’s care. But no, Chenny was not returned by his carer, instead Guo Yeye/Nainai announced in the community that they adopted Chenny as their grandson. They verified one day that they indeed felt enough in the first couple of months and thought of giving up, but while time went on, they found an emotional tie between them and Chenny was building up.
As time went by, Chenny was not crying as much as when he was a new born baby, but his excessive activity still made Guo Yeye/Nainai exhausted each day. This was carried on till Chenny reached one year old when my wife decided to take Chenny to live with her in Danshui, a small town on the outskirt of Taipei, where she worked as a school teacher. This decision was based on the consideration of the fact that we needed a 24 hour care for Chenny during the work days yet Guo Yeye/Nainai couldn’t do it physically. This decision was cruel to all of us especially Guo Yeye/Nainai.
Chenny’s second babysitter was Du Ayi, aunty Du, an ex-hospital-nurse. Du Ayi was at her early 30’s when Chenny was under her care, much younger and fit to be able to look after Chenny. And Chenny was with her for the following two years till my wife enrolled him in the junior kindergarten in a kindergarten ran by Presbyterian Church in Danshui.
In September 1992, we were to leave Taiwan permanently for immigration to New Zealand when Chenny was nearly 5 years old. Again this decision hit Guo Yeye/Nainai hurtfully. They came to Danshui to say goodbye to Chenny and presented him a gold necklace as shown in the picture, and two albums of stamp collection.
Life is impermanent, one day in November 2008 we were informed of Guo Yeye’s death and his funeral being on the 16th of December. We were not able to attend his funeral and Tessie, our daughter, happened to be travelling to Taiwan for holiday in December so we made Tessie our representative to pay respect to Guo Yeye.
Tessie sent back updates regularly during her stay in Taiwan. She told me that according to Guo Nainai, they included Chenny in their family list on the obituary notice. This conveyed a significant meaning that they seriously treat Chenny their own grandson. And what made us most uneasy was the e-mail that Tessie sent back after her attendance in Guo Yeye’s funeral. She said in the e-mail it was Guo Yeye’s will to give some money to Chenny as ‘hand-tail money’, a local custom, symbolising handing-down of responsibility of the dead to his descendant, and Guo Nainai had asked her to pass the money to Chenny when she returned to New Zealand.
This post is to commemorate a loving-kind elderlies whose love to his adopted grandson is so altruistic, and to serve as a forever reminder to Chenny about this spiritual tie between him and Guo Yeye.
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