In Remembrance of My Aunt

A few weeks ago, Aunt came to my dream. She quietly looked at me with a kind expression as she usually did when she was alive. The dream was quite clear, and it was the first time that aunt ever appeared in my dream since she died in 1984. So I reflected upon the dream a lot after I woke up.

Aunt was born in 1914 in a small town called Ching Shui in the Taichung County of Taiwan. She was named Jioa (招仔), meaning inviting a brother, by her parents. She was the only daughter in the Lee family. Her younger brother was actually adopted by her parents for the sake of having a son to carry on the family name. That was why her given name, Jioa, contained a meaning of inviting because her parents hoped that this daughter would be inviting a boy to be born in this family. So I guess her parents must have experienced infertility problem before given birth to aunty.

According to my cousin Chai Hsia, aunty's youngest daughter, aunty was famous of her good look in the town and was nicknamed "Ching Shui Beauty".

Aunty's maiden home was located at a road nearby the water supply stream called Biakau (埤仔口). This stream was formed by a spring gushing up steadily from the ground. In early 1960's, though at that time all the families in Ching Shui already had tap water run to their homes, people living nearby Biakau still liked to fetch drinking water from the stream or even washed their laundry there. During my childhood, I often played in the shallow part of the stream while my mother did the laundry there.

In early 1930's, when uncle was at his teens, he was assigned by his father to fetch water for the family. Due to this daily task which required him to pass by where Jioa lived several times a day, uncle noticed this beautiful girl. He himself was tall, handsome, and very talkative, so I believed Jioa must have good impression on this guy. Soon, my grandfather sent match-maker over to Lee family to propose a marriage and this good looking couple were married.

After she was married into Chen family, my grandfather thought her original name Jioa was not very graceful, so he renamed her Chen Lee Yu Ying (陳李玉英), meaning jade heroine.

About ten years after their marriage, uncle left his family to the care of my father and headed for Japan to try his luck in small business of pearl trade. So aunty was virtually widowed since mid 1940's. Although uncle did come back to visit his family after his departure, but those couple of visits were only short stays and eventually there was no more visits at all. Later, aunt was told by fellow Taiwanese immigrants that uncle had relationship with a Japanese woman. Aunt's hope of seeing her husband back with a big fortune was shattered.

Aunt was a good singer. When I was a small child, I liked to be around her and often heard her singing pop songs. The songs she frequently sang were almost those about missing of the loved one. As I recall these past views now, I can appreciate how hard a time she had been through that she had to alleviate the stress by singing songs to herself so often.

Because of her ill fated marriage, she advised her junior generation to be careful with making friends of opposite sex. Once my 4th sister told aunt that she was in love with a man whom my sister described to aunt as generally a good man but not tall and handsome. Aunt said to her the inner quality was most important. She said, "look how handsome and tall your uncle is, and now where has he gone?". My sister bore aunty's advice in mind and later accepted that man's proposal.

Aunty raised up two sons and three daughters all by herself. With the unsteady money that uncle sent back for the family, aunty did job for a local straw hat weaving factory to earn a bit more money. I used to be observing how aunty did the job, and soon I learned how to do the job. So sometimes, I came to do the job with aunt, and this little help won her constant praising.

Aunt was very kind. Up to mid 1965, there were still seen beggars begging for food door by door. For a few times I witnessed aunt gave food or coins to beggars turned up at the doorway.

When I got sick, she always came to sit by my bedside and said kind words to me. I cherished her gentle touch over my forehead and her sympathizing words whenever I was sick in bed having fever.

Aunty's health had never been good. Many times during my childhood, I saw her staying in her bedroom alone, getting up, walking to the medicine bag to get a sachet of pain killer and gulped it down with water. She had been bothered by frequent headache. Once she also showed her lower leg and pressed a couple of spots. I saw the skin sank and formed a hollow. I pressed mine and it bounced back instantly. Later I learned from school it was symptom of Beriberi disease indicating the body was short of Vitamin B.

In 1984, aunty's health deteriorated sharply. Once upon hearing of her being unwell, I took a day off and came down from Taipei to Ching Shui to see her. Chai Hsia, my cousin, was looking after her by the bed. I saw my very thin and pale aunt lying in the bed with nostrils hooked up with oxygen tubes. She struggled to get up to greet me, tears streamed down her face. She said to me, "Ahsen, I'm afraid I am dying this time...". I felt tears welled up my eyes and found no better words to console her than "no, you are not, as the mercy Buddha will bless you...".

That was the last time I met with my dear aunt as a few weeks later she passed away. Chai Hsia was very sad, she commented by aunty's tomb yard, "this is the end of this Ching Shui Beauty's life...".

Right after the meeting with aunty in the dream, I have included her in my pray list when I do my daily spiritual service in the early morning. May aunty's soul gets full rest and enlightened.