Marriage -- Then and Now (part II)

My previous blog post is to some degree in favor of the notion that "marriage is the grave of love affairs". I got to hide that post away from being seen by my wife. To my view point the female agree with this saying more than the male do, but once they got married they tend to bury it deep in their minds and try not to mention it. Because otherwise, what can they do? They are locked up, and so do the male.

It sounds very miserable, isn't it? It is true. I have seen so many real examples including my own case, none of them is free from complaining each other occasionally. I believe when they engage in verbal fighting, the saying of "marriage is the grave of love affairs" comes up their mind. It is a very powerless situation, you just got to be conceded with the reality.

I believe there is almost no exception among all the married couples in the world that throughout their marriage life they never had the thought of getting divorce flashed across their minds. I say so, because it arose in my mind many times, though fortunately it did not stay forever, otherwise if it manifested a step further, it will definitely hurt the relationship and consequently will bring marriage into the grave for sure. If all my friends and relatives say that my marriage is a very harmonious one, and yet, the aforesaid secretive thought of mine still arise occasionally, then you will realize how delicate the marriage life is, and why the divorce rate nowadays rockets year by year in our society.

I'm not saying to my next generation that marriage is dreadful; is fragile, and so they should stay away from marriage, and lead a celibate lifestyle throughout their life. Actually I'm trying to make clear my disposition about marriage as that it is our responsibility to get married and to manage it nicely if we tick yes to most of the following guidelines.

1. Are you healthy physically and mentally?
2. Are you on a full-time job, or in a business that can support your family financially?
3. Do you agree that he or she has certain characteristics that attracted you during your dating period?
4. Do you think that on major issues such as religious belief, political stands, moral values yours are quite agreeable to your partner's?

Give your answers to the above questions honestly, and if all the answers are positive, then, man, especially those with good genes, should find no grounds to stay away from entering marriage, because marriage is a form of guarantee; commitment; duty; actualization to your love affairs. Despite that it is true, we still see a lot of candidates wandering about the door of marriage, being reluctant to enter it, until some new factors emerge and force them into either marriage or flight. And I think choosing flight is the majority.

Why is that? There are many factors that can fire a flight. The most common one, as far as I can think of, is the fading love ingredients. When a relationship gets stuck in this situation, both of them suffer, and I finally realize why there are psychologists or counselors everywhere nowadays.

I'm not a psychologist so I cannot help people in this type of suffering scientifically. But I believe the cure can be found in tradition and in spiritualism. My prescription will be like in the following.

• Avoid living under the same roof, or observe strict celibacy for as long as possible before marriage.
• Spare at least 15 minutes every day to proceed indoctrination, brainwash. Get your preferred passages from Bible, Sutra, or whatever that last 15 minutes long when you chant those inspirational passages.
• Believe in causality. Believe that everything we do matters, even a very trivial deed brings its consequence. So be conscientious in what you did, what you said, what you thought.

Sounds very stupid? But when you paid the bills to the professional and still get no cure, then this is one you should try, at least it is free, and all you could suffer is 15 minutes, but most important is that you have done something to the rescue of your marriage issue.