My Days in Junior High School 1964 -1966

This might be the only picture I had during the three year junior high school days. I am the one standing at four from the right of the second row from the back.

It was shot a few days before the graduation ceremony was held in June 1966. The scene was in front of the newly built hall of Ching Shui High School located by the state highway in Ching Shui township of Taichung County, Taiwan.

From the picture, you can summarize the features of the high school in those days. 1) big student number per class, there were 54 in our classroom. 2) all the students had to wear uniform. 3) all the boys had to be bald-headed. 4) opposite sex in separate class.

You are right, all the four points hit the spot! I'd like to share one of the dramas about me occurred during the three school years.

Each year, the school held a model student election activity. Each class must nominate a candidate through their in-class democratic process to the student activity administration office to involve in the final model student election.

Of course that was just a way of democracy education through practice. But we all took it seriously hoping the candidate of our own class would be elected so that we could share his honor.

I , being a quiet and shy boy in the class, never expected that I was nominated in the in-class selection and, even could not believe, won the top number in favor of me. I was scared my head off as a year one junior high school student with the unexpected result. But our class teacher, Chen Yao-tang (陳瑤塘)﹐assured me that the whole class would back me up in the in-school election campaign.

The next day, the whole school began to be bustling with vote inviting activity, poster hanging, and etc, My friend's neighbor was a printer who printed 500 pieces of bookmark with my profile on one side and a blank class timetable on the other for distributing to the voters in the vote inviting activity. I remembered it cost me $10. My friend told me that I could pay it with the $50 award when I was elected as model student of the year. It seemed as if he could foresee the election result that I would win the 50 bucks.

After one whole week of campaigning activities, there came the voting day. Most of my classmates were in the school hall watching the votes being called out and added to the corresponding candidate on the blackboard, but I was too nervous about the result that I hid myself in our classroom. Once a while, one of the very enthusiastic mates would rush back to report the update. As the vote calling was going on, these messengers ran back and forth the classroom and the hall excitedly with the latest accumulated votes casted to me.

By the time the sun was to set, all the votes were cleared from the boxes. The result showed that I was among the school model students of the year.

I told mum and dad after returned home about the news that day. They were very proud of me being a model student,

The big brother of my neighbor who was a profound calligrapher wrote a few posters of 銘謝當選, "thanks for voting me" for me to hang on some corners of the school yard the next day.

At the nearest morning school assembly after the voting day, a certificate of model student, award of $50 and a medal were handed down by the principal.

That had occurred in the first year of my junior high school days. Never had I thought that I could be so popular in the school as a introvert boy, that in the next year, the same process repeated once again, I was elected as model student for the second time.

Believe or not, but it was true, I was selected as candidate for the third time in a row during my three year junior high school period. But this time I did not win in the final election.

In Remembrance of My Aunt

A few weeks ago, Aunt came to my dream. She quietly looked at me with a kind expression as she usually did when she was alive. The dream was quite clear, and it was the first time that aunt ever appeared in my dream since she died in 1984. So I reflected upon the dream a lot after I woke up.

Aunt was born in 1914 in a small town called Ching Shui in the Taichung County of Taiwan. She was named Jioa (招仔), meaning inviting a brother, by her parents. She was the only daughter in the Lee family. Her younger brother was actually adopted by her parents for the sake of having a son to carry on the family name. That was why her given name, Jioa, contained a meaning of inviting because her parents hoped that this daughter would be inviting a boy to be born in this family. So I guess her parents must have experienced infertility problem before given birth to aunty.

According to my cousin Chai Hsia, aunty's youngest daughter, aunty was famous of her good look in the town and was nicknamed "Ching Shui Beauty".

Aunty's maiden home was located at a road nearby the water supply stream called Biakau (埤仔口). This stream was formed by a spring gushing up steadily from the ground. In early 1960's, though at that time all the families in Ching Shui already had tap water run to their homes, people living nearby Biakau still liked to fetch drinking water from the stream or even washed their laundry there. During my childhood, I often played in the shallow part of the stream while my mother did the laundry there.

In early 1930's, when uncle was at his teens, he was assigned by his father to fetch water for the family. Due to this daily task which required him to pass by where Jioa lived several times a day, uncle noticed this beautiful girl. He himself was tall, handsome, and very talkative, so I believed Jioa must have good impression on this guy. Soon, my grandfather sent match-maker over to Lee family to propose a marriage and this good looking couple were married.

After she was married into Chen family, my grandfather thought her original name Jioa was not very graceful, so he renamed her Chen Lee Yu Ying (陳李玉英), meaning jade heroine.

About ten years after their marriage, uncle left his family to the care of my father and headed for Japan to try his luck in small business of pearl trade. So aunty was virtually widowed since mid 1940's. Although uncle did come back to visit his family after his departure, but those couple of visits were only short stays and eventually there was no more visits at all. Later, aunt was told by fellow Taiwanese immigrants that uncle had relationship with a Japanese woman. Aunt's hope of seeing her husband back with a big fortune was shattered.

Aunt was a good singer. When I was a small child, I liked to be around her and often heard her singing pop songs. The songs she frequently sang were almost those about missing of the loved one. As I recall these past views now, I can appreciate how hard a time she had been through that she had to alleviate the stress by singing songs to herself so often.

Because of her ill fated marriage, she advised her junior generation to be careful with making friends of opposite sex. Once my 4th sister told aunt that she was in love with a man whom my sister described to aunt as generally a good man but not tall and handsome. Aunt said to her the inner quality was most important. She said, "look how handsome and tall your uncle is, and now where has he gone?". My sister bore aunty's advice in mind and later accepted that man's proposal.

Aunty raised up two sons and three daughters all by herself. With the unsteady money that uncle sent back for the family, aunty did job for a local straw hat weaving factory to earn a bit more money. I used to be observing how aunty did the job, and soon I learned how to do the job. So sometimes, I came to do the job with aunt, and this little help won her constant praising.

Aunt was very kind. Up to mid 1965, there were still seen beggars begging for food door by door. For a few times I witnessed aunt gave food or coins to beggars turned up at the doorway.

When I got sick, she always came to sit by my bedside and said kind words to me. I cherished her gentle touch over my forehead and her sympathizing words whenever I was sick in bed having fever.

Aunty's health had never been good. Many times during my childhood, I saw her staying in her bedroom alone, getting up, walking to the medicine bag to get a sachet of pain killer and gulped it down with water. She had been bothered by frequent headache. Once she also showed her lower leg and pressed a couple of spots. I saw the skin sank and formed a hollow. I pressed mine and it bounced back instantly. Later I learned from school it was symptom of Beriberi disease indicating the body was short of Vitamin B.

In 1984, aunty's health deteriorated sharply. Once upon hearing of her being unwell, I took a day off and came down from Taipei to Ching Shui to see her. Chai Hsia, my cousin, was looking after her by the bed. I saw my very thin and pale aunt lying in the bed with nostrils hooked up with oxygen tubes. She struggled to get up to greet me, tears streamed down her face. She said to me, "Ahsen, I'm afraid I am dying this time...". I felt tears welled up my eyes and found no better words to console her than "no, you are not, as the mercy Buddha will bless you...".

That was the last time I met with my dear aunt as a few weeks later she passed away. Chai Hsia was very sad, she commented by aunty's tomb yard, "this is the end of this Ching Shui Beauty's life...".

Right after the meeting with aunty in the dream, I have included her in my pray list when I do my daily spiritual service in the early morning. May aunty's soul gets full rest and enlightened.

2009 Easter Show

The Easter Show ran from the 10th April, Friday, through to the 13th April, Monday, this year. Easter is a very cultural and religious festival in western countries. Here in New Zealand, the school term break of a two week period coincides the arrival of the four day long Easter holiday. This makes the whole country immerse in a very peaceful and joyful holiday atmosphere when Easter comes around the corner.

About two weeks before the opening of Easter Show, Tessie asked us to make the 13rd April, Monday, free for her to treat us a day out to the show ground. As we would usually be attending the weekly Buddhist assembly in the morning on Mondays, so we asked her to come to meet us at the assembly hall in Greenland when it finished at the midday, and made the show ground activity in the afternoon. She agreed.

Soon came the appointed day out, the 13rd April. Early in the morning, a fellow Buddhist gave us a ride to the Buddhist assembly. There we meet weekly practicing mindful meditation in forms of chanting sutra, chanting Amitofuo, walking and sitting, aiming to achieve a complete mindfulness and thus to attain Paramita Wisdom.

Our two children knew we attended Buddhist assembly regularly, however, in spite of our urging them to join with us, they never showed any interest to know what the assembly was all about. So this day out offered by Tessie was an invaluable chance that we could pull her in to have a look of our religious group.

We had share lunch after the spiritual practices finished at midday. Tessie came in to see us when we were having share lunch. Our fellow Buddhist kindly scooped a bowlful of assorted vegetarian food for her. After the lunch we listened to recorded lecture of Di Zi Gui, Standards of Being a Dutiful Student, for half an hour to conclude the assembly.

Having said good bye to fellow Buddhists, Tessie drove us to the Easter Show ground which was nearby the meeting hall we had just left. Although it was the last day of the four day show, it was still full of people. It took us long time to find a parking place.

When Tessie and Chenny were in their childhood, I took them to this show a couple of times. The admission then was $5 or $8 per head as far as I could remember. But now, it is $18! Out of love, my wife instinctively fought to pay for the admission at the front of the box office. The girl officer faintly smiled at the sight of fighting for the payment. Tessie was a bit embarrassed with mum's odd practice, she seemed a little unhappy with mum's stubbornness though she understood it symbolized love. Tessie won the fight. She paid it.

We walked around the vast show ground in the stream of people, most of them were having something in their hand to eat, ice cream, pop corn, BBQ, drinks and etc while walking. We watched farm work competition, Chelsea Dog show, various farm animals and people playing in the carnival sideshow area. On shifting from show to show, Tessie always hugged my arm in her one arm and mum's arm in her another arm along the way. I thought she had sensed the aging process occurring on her beloved mum and dad that she treated us in this affectionate way.

Seeing that we looked tired, Tessie got into the long queue of a Danish Ice Cream to buy us a special ice cream as the last activity for the day out.

The significance of the show to me this year was that it was my first time since I became a father being taken out to the show ground for a treat by Tessie, my daughter. The feeling of being loved and cared for is especially strong when I am gradually losing the ability of driving a car due to my Parkinson's Disease.

So this is an unforgettable Easter Show to me and my wife.

A Miracle

Throughout our life, we might encounter something which we found hard to explain how it could be happening to us, and if it benefits us, then we tend to call it 'a miracle'. In my 17 years of living in New Zealand, I had this 'something' happened to me 6 years ago, and because it came to me when I was desperately in need of it, so I called it 'A Miracle'.

To tell the story, it has to be started from mid 2002.

June 2002, my mother left this world. Not long after the 49 days of mourning period was over, in August, the owner of the company where I had worked for 9 years, decided to put and end to his business. So no new stock would be coming in for sale, and two other staff would have to leave immediately. I and another colleague were to be kept till the remaining stock was sold up or till the end of August 2003, whichever came about first.

I was greatly shocked upon hearing the owner's announcement. The reason unemployment was so dreadful to me was that my two children were at their teens' stage in schools, and I was then already 51 years old with no outstanding specific skill. Although I would be still get paid to do my job after the announcement of shutting down in one year time, I knew it was very short. So I had numerous nightmares since then.

A couple of interested businessmen approached my boss to assess the possibility of buying our business. I put a great deal of hope on the prospective new owner but they discontinued the talk after a few meetings. My mood during that stage was like riding roller coaster. I had been a voluntary telephone counselor for Chinese Lifeline since 1994, and now I became their client.

I sent out my curriculum vitae to about 10 different companies to apply for jobs such as call center staff, accounting staff, receptionist, store person and etc. None of them was returned with an interview confirmation. But that was not surprising me.

In March 2003, I came across a recruitment flier of Stagecoach Bus saying they had a program which helped to put the interested applicant on the bus driving seat. I was confident with my driving skill, I could do it. "Why hadn't I thought of becoming a bus driver before?", I thought to myself.

So after having talked on the prospect of becoming a bus driver with my wife, I launched on Stagecoach website and registered my application right away. A few days later, I received a phone call from Stagecoach telling me where to go to undertake an assessment on literacy and numerical skill. I went to the specified place as told, passed the assessment and was told that the depot manager would call me to set the time and place of the interview.

On 7th April 2003, I received a call from the manager of North Shore depot telling me the interview was set on the next morning.

I think I must have performed very well in the interview because they told me right after the interview that before they hired me they had to have a yes report from their designated doctor.

On 9th April, I went to see their doctor. On 10th April, the human resources officer notified me the success of my employment and that 18th April was the day I became an employee of Stagecoach. So I submitted my formal resignation to my boss, my heart felt totally relieved.

The training took off well. I drove the bus on the vast training field for the first two days. But from the third day I noticed my feces was very dark, and it was even darker the next day. I thought this could be the result of my long term stress and the dramatic change of my career style. The fifth day still saw the worsened symptom and felt a withering mental energy. On the sixth day I was sent to sit road test for passenger endorsement and I failed. But that was OK, that would not necessarily terminate my employment, however, I seemed to have a nervous breakdown triggered by the test result that after a sleepless night, I decided to quit my dream of becoming a bus driver. The next morning, I saw the feces turned to the normal color of light brown.

I went to see doctor, and was prescribed with antidepressant pills.

I was then a real unemployed dad. The feeling was acutely painful. My previous boss was kindly taking me back but I knew there were only two months away from the shut-down date of 31st August.

I think this was when the miracle began to cut in. On 18th July, when I was preparing to leave the office, my friend called me asking if I would be interested in teaching new immigrants the basics of everything about New Zealand. She told me she was already involved in that job, and she knew the company was still taking in more program advisers to meet the rapid growing enrollments. "OF COURSE I AM INTERESTED!" I yelled into the phone. So she gave me the contact phone and e-mail address of the head of education of that company.

After I came back home, I went straight to the computer instead of having tea first after work. I brought up a blank e-mail compose page on the screen and started typing a proper message stating how I got his e-mail address, what I intended for, what I could do, and why I should be granted an interview. Also attached my CV. Checked spelling and then clicked SEND. I felt totally relieved when I came to the dinning table for dinner, and also could not believe that I had asked for an interview in an aggressive way in the e-mail.

It was Friday night when I sent that e-mail, so I did not expect a reply during the weekend, actually I anticipated it would just be ignored. I had a pessimistic thought then.

After work on Monday, 21st July, the first thing I did was opening the computer and checking e-mail. Out of my expectation, among several mails was one with the name of that manger whom I asked for an interview.

I hesitated a moment thinking what would his reply be like; "yes, we need you immediately!" or "regret to advise you that we are now fully staffed."?

Click! The mail popped open. "....you seem to be lacking of teaching experience....we would consider if you could elaborate more on your educational qualification."

I was somewhat disappointed upon reading the message at first. But the second thought that arose was that I got to fight harder for the sake of my family.

I suddenly remembered I used to be serving as a political trainer for one and half years in the air force cadet training center when I was in Taiwan. So I edited my CV by adding this bit of qualification. Wrote a mail and sent them over with fingers crossed.

The next day, Tuesday, I came back home from work in the evening. Went straight to computer and saw his name listed with other mails in the inbox.

"....would this Thursday be convenient to you for an interview? We are at ....", the e-mail read. I could not believe what I read. I thought I had misunderstood the message. I read it at least three times before I was pretty sure I was given an interview. I came to dinner and felt the meal was particularly yummy.

On the appointed time of Thursday, 24th July, I walked to the reception counter to report my arrival. A moment later, I was in the interview room with the head of education. I later knew from other staff that normally if you are chosen, you will be interviewed by the managing director on another arranged date for the final decision to be made. But for some reason the head of education asked me to wait for a moment in the room while he went to get the MD to interview me. Then I was sent home to wait for the result.

Around four o'clock in the afternoon of 30th July 2003 when I was doing my office chores, the phone rang, and I quickly recognized it was the head of education who interviewed me the other day. In the phone he told me that I was employed as Program Adviser and the commencing date was 18th August 2003.

The new job came in time, 13 days prior to the shut-down date of my old one.

In retrospection of this episode of my life, I label it "A Miracle".

Tear Noodle

During the new year holiday, we noticed there was a new restaurant opened nearby the Northcote Library where I and my wife usually spend our Saturday mornings. The three Chinese characters "手扯麵" on the menu posted on the window outside of Xi'an Food Bar drew our attention. From the meaning of these three characters, we imagined the noodle was made by tearing the dough into finer strips to be ready for cooking. That must be it, but how the tearing technique is like? Curiosity pulled us into this restaurant and ordered two bowls of Tear Noodle with Fried Bean Sauce.

I selected a table with the best position for me to observe how the chef tore the dough into the right size of strips of noodle. The kitchen is not hidden in another quarter, instead, the customers can watch how their dishes are done by the chefs. The owner is smart that he adopts this tactic to attract more curious customers to come in.

I had watched several times on TV how Pull Noodle was made. It was spectacular, I would say, watching the whole process of making Pull Noodle. Here is one in Youtube. The making of Tear Noodle was not as high skill demanding as Pull Noodle.

I saw the chef began to stretch on a piece of dough the shape of rectangular. When it was stretched to about 30 cm he began to shake the band shape of dough up and down and smack it against the bench while at the same time to pull it further apart to make the dough strap even thinner. When the right thickness of the dough strap was reached, he then tore from the middle of the strap into finer threads of noodle and throw them straight into the pot of boiling water.

When the bowl of noodle was served to my table, each piece of the noodle looked very lively fresh. I pick up a few threads of it and put them into mouth. Beside the tasty sauce that made my taste bud cry, the special elasticity of the noodle made the chewing a delighted experience. So the whole bowl of noodle was finished in no time.

I think I can make it myself. It is not as skill demanding as Pull Noodle which might require years of on-job practice. But with this Tear Noodle, I think a couple of tries should make me there. So one day I asked my wife to make me a small dough for test.

First I rolled the dough into a shape of a rod of about 4 cm in diameter. Then divided it into pieces of 10 cm each.
Then flattened each of these 10 cm long dough pieces by palm into rectangular shape of about 10x15x1 cm. Then applied a thin coat of oil all over the dough piece, stacked them in a box with lid on and kept it in the fridge to wait for the tearing process to begin at the desired cooking time.Tearing is the part most challenging and fascinating in the whole process. It requires some practice before you can tear a strip of the right width all the way along the stretched piece of band dough from one end to another. At the beginning stage, when you are able to tear a fine strip off the band dough for a reasonable length by chance, you will become so excited that you might scream your head off. At least I and my wife were like that at our second practice which we made our Tear Noodle look quite like that in the restaurant.
Recently I Googled "手扯麵". Tear Noodle, I found a lot of blog posts talking about this handcraft. One said that he was addicted to it and had made Tear Noodle for meal everyday since he learned it from somewhere.

As to me, I am so fascinated by this way of making noodle for the following reasons:

• It sort of entitles you to be a Noodle Master and thus increases your self-esteem.
• Not any other tool such as knife, rolling stick or big working bench is needed than your hands.
• You don't need to sprinkle a lot of dry flour in the noodle making process in order to prevent the noodles from sticking to each other and make the working area dusty and messy.

Are you ready? Let's make a Tear Noodle meal for dinner tonight.

58th Birthday

Both my and my wife's birthdays are in February. So we have developed a tradition of celebrating our birthdays together on the same day, normally after 25th, in the month since our marriage. I can not remember as start from which year exactly have my children begun to remind me of our birthday celebration. But as far as I can remember that since 2006 when our daughter, Tessie, secured a full time job and our son, Chenny, was able to earn for his own spending while studying in the university, they began to take us out for a family lunch in a restaurant.

This year when our birthdays drew near, Chenny initiated this topic at a dinner conversation at home. He asked me how would I and my wife plan for our birthdays. As usual, we used of this opportunity trying to convert him into believing that one should be commemorating ones mother for the suffering she bore in the labor but not delving into activities designed for ones own joy on their birthday. This time he patiently listened the whole lecture without any dispute as he always did before. I said to my wife later on that our son was more matured this year. We also concluded that our children expected us to be aware of the arrival of our birthdays and plan some special activities for ourselves. That meant they were very care about us!

So on 23rd, a Monday, when we were supposed to attend in the weekly Buddhist meditation session in Greenlane, we decided to add something special to our usual transportation, normally by bus to and back, by train, and ferry boat for this time.

After we arrived at city, we normally changed to ride on another bus heading for Greenlane, but that day we hopped on a train instead. I had never got a chance to ride a train in the past 17 years since we moved to New Zealand. So we felt like a child traveling by train for the first time. I took a photo of my wife in the carriage. I saw her smiling all the way through out the trip.

On the way back after the group meditation session in the Buddhist meeting, we explored the Ferry Terminal Building in the city for the first time again since we have moved to New Zealand. It was full of shops and tourists.

I checked the timetable for a ferry heading for Devonport where we can have a relaxing stride along the beach and enjoy the peaceful reminiscent atmosphere of the small town. I had travelled by ferry to small islands for a couple of times before, but this was the first time I rode it from city to Devonport. So it was my another first time experience.

It was two O'clockish when we arrived Devonport. There the sea view, flying sea gulls, tourists and the shops created a peaceful relaxing picture that made you sleepy. We enjoyed ourselves there for an hour and then took a bus home. I thought to myself that the simple but joyful tour we had that day had somehow fulfilled Chenny's wish of seeing us to do something special to celebrate our birthdays.

In the following week, first saw Tessie's e-mail asking if we would be interested in watching an opera show called "My Fair Lady". She would buy the ticket costing $74 - 100 each for us as birthday gift if we said yes. Astonished by her generosity but we replied saying we preferred a family lunch at Daikoku Restaurant on the weekend.

Early in the morning of my birthday I received a text message in my mobile phone from Chenny wishing me a happy one.

So we had a lovely family lunch there. Chenny brought his girlfriend Lily along. We shot a few photos in the restaurant to mark our birthday celebration of 2009.

Our 58th birthday is indeed an unforgettable one. The fact that children will grow; we will get old; nothing material remains unchanged permanently; and etc of thoughts rise and sink in my mind on that day. The force that drove me to write this post was the feeling of delight in receiving the return feed from my children.

In Remembrance Of My Father-in-Law

February 14 marks the memorial anniversary of my father-in-law. In the early morning nine years ago on this date, the phone rang unexpectedly waking us up from sound sleep. My wife rushed toward the phone set from bed. It was her eldest sister, Zheng Shi, calling from Taiwan to advise us a shocking news, father had just died in Tainan City Hospital.

It was a tremendous shock to my wife as I heard her shrieked loudly, "what? How could it be possible?" She could not believe it because she had just visited her father in Taiwan one year earlier and witnessed father's physical fitness. Then there was a long pause followed by ums and uhs together with nods. Apparently her sister was telling her what they were planning to do in regard to the funeral.

A couple of days after that phone call, my wife was on the airplane heading for Taiwan. I did not travel with her on this big occasion because I had to work, tend to my mother's home caring, and look after the two children during her absence.

To me, my father-in-law, or my dad as I normally addressed him, is one of the few people I most respect to in the world. The bits and pieces about him are from my personal experience and from casual chats now and then with my wife as well.

Dad's name is Zheng Ying Chun, 鄭應春。 He was born on November 2 of 1920 in a scholar type of family in Fuzhou City of Fujian Province of China. There was a sister before him and a younger brother after him. His father was a highly educated person that he was appointed the head of the post office of Fuzhou City. Dad's grandfather was educated under Qing Dynasty's education system. His grandfather was also very scholarly that he was a qualified teacher in the village teaching works of ancient saints and sages.

Dad was a hard working student at school. After high school, he sat college entrance exam and won the first place of that recruitment. His study subject at school was Chemical Engineering. Because of his outstanding school marks, he was employed by the state-owned petroleum refinery company based in Fujian after his graduation.

While he was studying at the engineering institute, his grandfather, teaching Chinese literacy privately at home, was thinking of matching his beloved grandson with a decent girl. Among the students of his literacy class was a lovely girl at her late 10's whom he thought was the best candidate.

That girl's name was Chen Xin Hu, 陳心壺. Not so tall but with a lovely face that always smiled compassionately, she was from a well off farming family in the same village. Everyday in the morning, she would carry a big load of vegetable produce from their own farm to the market and accompanied her grandmother selling those produce. Because of her overly tanned skin, her nickname was "that little black beauty".

When dad was told of his grandpa's intent of matching him with the black beauty, he became uneasy every time when he came home after school and passed by the room where grandpa's literacy class was undergoing. He always bowed his upper body and sort of sneaking into his room. Mum later recalled her impression about dad before their marriage, saying "he looked like a skinny mouse with glasses trying to escape the surveillance of a cat."

After he had finished his study at Fuzhou Industrial Institute, he worked for China Petroleum Company in Fujian office as Chemical engineer. Then, following his parents' will, he married to "that little black beauty" in 1943.

It was about the end of World War II when they had their first child, a boy. Life was very hard everywhere. Dad being the eldest son of the family picked up the responsibility of supporting the whole extended family with his sole income.

In 1946, dad's company sent a team to station in Taiwan to take over the management of Taiwan petroleum industry from the hands of Japanese government and dad was part of the delegation. His parents urged him to go with his own family plus his younger brother who was then only 10 years old. It was commonly believed that it would be easier to make a living in Taiwan so all the young men longed for this kind of precious chance. His father asked him to take the younger brother along with his own family and support him with living requisite including education.

Having arrived Taiwan, dad's extended family of four was settled in Miaoli county by his company. This young couple were friendly and helpful to their neighbors and local residents, and soon they won their friendship.

In the next year of their arrival, there was this so called 228 incident erupted. The uprising was sparked by a rather minor dispute between a female tobacco vendor and a police, but with the complicated political conditions in the background, it turned into an overall attack against anyone who spoke no Taiwanese dialect. My mother-in-law was then holding her first child on the way home and was targeted by a group of radicals seeking for "the outsider" to beat. Under a miraculous assistance, a kind old local woman appeared in time to her rescue. Mum was given a shelter in a ceiling to hide till the drama was over.

In the following 5 years, dad's family members increased to 7 including uncle. He was then working as sugar production researcher in Taiwan Sugar Industry Research Institute based in Tainan city.

In 1955, the total of dad's family increased to 9. In the front row of this picture, from left are uncle, elder sister Shi, younger sister Jian, mum, my wife Zhen, dad, and younger sister Zhi. In the back row are eldest brother Qian and second elder brother Gan. We can see from picture that dad and mum looked quite thin, pale and tired apparently due to malnutrition while the 6 kids and uncle were all looked quite healthy and happy. This picture reflected fully how hard it was for dad to achieve up to this stage. And how could dad make enough money to feed the whole family as a sole income earner?

Besides the fact he married to a decent wife who was willing to live an austere life style, dad applied his talent in his after-work business - a family farm in the back yard. He dug a pond to grow soft shell turtle for selling to the restaurants in the city. He did the successful marketing all by the guaranteed quality of goods and his reliability.

Dad then expanded this home business to egg farming. He built a row of chicken cages above the soft shell turtle pond. And above the chicken cage was a loofah gourd frame structure over which the loofah gourd vine provided a good shade for the hens and soft shell turtles living under it. The gourd provided a free nutritious dish on the table for the family. The hens' dropping dropped into the pond to feed the turtles with free nutrient supplement. Wow! what a marvelous ecology friendly farm dad had designed!

The family farm only helped to generate enough money for food for his big family. To provide better living quality for the family such as clothing, medicine, movies, books and education, dad needed to find a way out. But how was it possible in years of 60's and 70's to a salary man?

Perhaps Heaven had witnessed his hardship and his diligence in both work and family, dad's research project won the scholarship rewarded by the Central Research Institute. His annual income was doubled because of this reward from 1965, lasting 12 years, till 1977 when the youngest daughter Zhi was sent into university. Then, his research was no longer rewarded no matter how hard he worked. "Perhaps subconsciously I knew my financial burden was not that tough so I was not working as hard as before." dad told me once we talked about his past.

In 1981, dad reached the legitimate retired age as an employee of a state-owned business. As fit, intelligent and helpful as he was at age 60, he felt he still got a lot to offer. His eldest son-in-law had just started a tool machinery manufacturing company, and was struggling with managing the filing of thousands of blue prints of machine parts. Dad's ability totally fitted in this position so he joined the new team right away from the time he was officially retired.

Dad helped in our big brother-in-law's company for about two years, during which period he set up a very efficient file management system for this new company. At this time, dad's former colleague, who was then the chancellor of St. John's University, heard of the news of dad's retirement and came to see dad. The chancellor eagerly invited dad to work for his university. Having seen our big brother-in-law's company was running well, he accepted the offer from St. John's University, an administration job.

So from 1983 dad stayed with us at our another home at Dan Shui where my wife's school was located. St. John's was only about 3 km to the North of where we lived. Dad only needed to take a short journey to and back school every day by bus. Working for school left him a lot of free time, and I noticed he began to studying Buddhism books.

His most favorite Buddhism book was Diamond Sutra. Sometimes he mentioned about some sutra excerpts to us. Though we identified ourselves Buddhist we rarely pondered the teachings in the sutra, therefore we were not dad's good audiences when dad came to the topic about Buddhism. But dad must have a lot of insight from his learning of Diamond Sutra and was earnestly in need of someone who would listen to him with some interest.

One morning during school's term break, dad planned to go to his home in Tainan to stay with mum, he asked me for a lift to Taipei. Throughout this journey his talk had been centered around Diamond Sutra. I could only politely nodded and smiled here and there pretending I was interested in this topic but actually there was not any echo in my mind. We arrived Taipei railway station. Before we parted, dad concluded by saying "anyway, the core of Buddha's teaching in Diamond Sutra is only one thing - never ever attach your mind to anything, mind or physical." At that moment I suddenly felt a flash cross my mind, I had some echo with dad's remark before he turned toward the platform entrance. After dad decided to retire from St. John's University in 1988, Diamond Sutra was still his main studying subject. He respectfully copied that sutra by hand with his excellent calligraphy skill. The picture is the first page of dad's handwritten script of Diamond Sutra.

After his fully retirement, he did not waste his time in pursuing worldly pleasure, he spent a lot of time in compiling his family tree; recording the family's big events crossing from 1920 to 1989; doing his spiritual practice through copying sutras by handwriting with brush pen.

I felt he was even busier than the days prior to his fully retirement. He was doing all these things as if knowing his days in this world was not long. Unexpectedly on 14th February 2000 he passed away with smiley expression, as what mum witnessed and said, at Tainan City Hospital.

I have been curious about what was the thought that came up dad's mind as he exhaled his last breath? Perhaps it was the words he said to me before he turned toward the platform entrance, "the core of Buddha's teaching in Diamond Sutra is only one thing - never ever attach your mind to anything, mind or physical."

May dad's soul be resting blissfully in the Pure Land of Amituofo.

On The Pure Land Path

Many of my friends and my two children know that I will be going to Nianfo, reciting Amituofo, in a Buddhist meeting somewhere in Auckland on Mondays. They know I and my wife are Buddhists; are quite devoted to its activities; and are helping that group with some secretarial tasks.

But they know very little about what activities are held there; why it attracts me to travel all the way by bus to attend every week; what do I pursue on this path? I suppose they have some ideas about Buddhism - it talks about emptiness and various philosophical yet abstract topics; it was founded by a prince of ancient India; and it is mainly welcomed by old fellows. And that are all what they might know about.

So I like to write this post to tell my friends, especially my two children the basics of this tradition.

The following are what I learned. About 2500 or 3000 years ago, a prince of ancient India, by an enormous cause, got a chance to leave the palace and saw things that he could only see in the outside world. He saw a very old man staggering along the street; he saw a sick man lying on the roadside; he saw a corpse surrounded by the mourning family. He was overwhelmed by what he had never seen in the palace. And he saw a spiritual practitioner as well. This encounter triggered his realization of the truth of life, and resulted in his drop out of palace one night to start his quest for solution of complete liberation. (This link will bring you to a 40 minute video which gives detailed description about The Life of The Buddha.)

After 9 years of diligent practice and seek for the truth, he achieved enlightenment under the Bodhi Tree. He found the answer of life and discovered fact of the universe. He was free from the endless cycle of rebirth. He was completely liberated.

I imagine what the Buddha was thinking after his enlightenment. He was thinking that he should share with all beings how he had reached the state of full liberation, what the liberation was like; he should start his teaching. So he walked out of his retreat to begin his preaching that lasted 49 years long till he dropped his physical body and entered Nirvana, the ultimate state of being free from suffering and cycle of rebirth.

His teaching came to China in the middle of 1st century, and was naturally localized and diversified into many different schools to suit individual learners of various nature and capacity. Among them are schools such as Cha'n (or Zen in Japan), Tendai, Pure Land and etc. Despite that there are so many different schools, their main courses are all the same - following the three learning steps: Observance of Precept, Mindful in Concentration and Ultimate Wisdom.

I was brought onto Pure Land path through viewing Venerable Chin Kung's DVD titled "Getting To Know Buddhism". This school teaches us how to go through the above mentioned three steps by reciting "Amituofo". So in the group meditation practice, you can see they walk in round in the chanting hall aiming to tame our wandering mind to achieve mindfulness by focusing our thought on the recitation of Amituofo.

My personal experience from practice Pure Land path tells me mindfulness is the most difficult skill one can learn in his lifetime. Try it yourself. Sit on a chair comfortably, close your eyes, take a few deep breath, and then try to still your thought. How do you feel? Can you hold the stillness for a few seconds? It is challenging, isn't it? A renowned spiritual practitioner had lived in a cave in remote mountain for 12 years doing intensive meditation retreat. Once she was asked by people about how she felt during her retreat. She said to them that she was never bored during that period of time. Obviously she had tasted the heavenly happiness through her diligent practice.

Though it is difficult, it is a lot of fun and enjoyment in cultivating this skill because you will gradually gain the long lasting calmness and bliss if you persevere. And don't forget, our ultimate goal is to achieve Paramita Wisdom, the perfectly awaken state of mind, the state that free us from the endless cycle of rebirth.

Recently I heard from some of my friends that their parents were suffering from various diseases such as Alzheimer, Diabetes, Incontinence etc and had become bed bounded for quite some time. Although their life is long, all are over 90, but the diseases resulting from longevity make them suffer. That's why in the first sermon that Buddha delivered after his enlightenment pointed out that life is Dukkah, or is never satisfactory. To my perspective, Pure Land path is designed to train us to be in control of our worldly life, to get us prepared to migrate to the Pure Land at our will.

Knowing that no one can bring anything along after our life is ended, isn't it the most urgent and important task to be prepared to break the cycle of rebirth in our lifetime?

Chenny's Babysitter

In the picture is the couple who helped us babysitting Chenny after my wife’s maternity leave was over and had to go back to her teaching job. They are Mr. and Mrs. Guo. Mr. Guo’s full name is Guo Bin Wu 郭斌武, which carries a meaning as “being courtesy and heroic”.

Today I like to write some of his stories for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we owe him a lot in terms of the sacrifice he made in looking after Chenny. Secondly, he just passed away due to his long term stomach illness in November 2008, so this post serves as a commemoration to him.

Following the local custom, we called him Guo Yeye meaning Grandpa Guo, and his wife Guo Nainai meaning Grandma Guo because Chenny was supposed to adress them Guo Yeye and Guo Nainai.

By the time when Chenny was to be delivered, my parents being 72 years old were no longer physically fit enough to look after a baby for us during the daytime when we were away at work. We were referred to Guo Nainai, who lived near to where we lived in Taipei city. She politely declined our request at first because Guo Yeye was turning 65 and would soon be discharged from his job in an administrative position in the National Security Headquarter. They had planned to live a retirement life style. We were quite worried as the date of expected labour approaching.

After Chenny was given birth, we tried to ask for their assistance again. This time Guo Nainai nodded. We later knew from other neighbours that because Guo Yeye committed to spare his time to give Guo Nainai a hand in caring the baby. We were relieved and grateful. We knew this was due to the profound loving-kindness of this elder couple.

Prior to giving Chenny to Guo Nainai’s care, Chenny had lived with us for 6 weeks till my wife’s maternity leave expired. During this period we had already learned Chenny was a tough baby to look after. He cried a lot. He was very active when not in sleep. He was awakening easily by small noise. He ate a lot but would suddenly not want to eat any for no reason for a couple of days which made the carer worry. So, by the time when we handed Chenny’s care over to them, we felt sorry and guilty for Guo Yeye and Guo Nainai. Fortunately Chenny was a good looking baby that they loved him instantly when they held him.

At the end of their first day care, I went to fetch Chenny with nervousness worrying that Chenny might have given them a hard time. I knocked on the door; Guo Nainai came to open the door for me. Guo Yeye was holding Chenny in sleep. I asked in low voice “is everything alright?” Guo Yeye smiled shyly and replied “not too bad.” Followed by a faint sigh almost undetectable but somehow I caught it. In my mind I said to myself “gee, Chenny did give them a hard time on the very first day.”

For polite reason Guo Yeye always replied “not too bad today” when I asked how Chenny behaved that day. Other neighbours who dropped in to see them actually witnessed how difficult Chenny was in Guo’s care, and how patiently Guo Yeye/Nainai were with Chenny. They told me that whenever they dropped in, they saw Guo Yeye either holding the finally falling into sleep baby in his arms or was swaying a crying baby trying to calm him down. They predicted that soon Chenny would be rejected from Guo’s care when their energy and patience ran out.

Day after day, month after month, we had lived with uncertainty of seeing Chenny rejected from Guo Yeye/Nainai’s care. But no, Chenny was not returned by his carer, instead Guo Yeye/Nainai announced in the community that they adopted Chenny as their grandson. They verified one day that they indeed felt enough in the first couple of months and thought of giving up, but while time went on, they found an emotional tie between them and Chenny was building up.

As time went by, Chenny was not crying as much as when he was a new born baby, but his excessive activity still made Guo Yeye/Nainai exhausted each day. This was carried on till Chenny reached one year old when my wife decided to take Chenny to live with her in Danshui, a small town on the outskirt of Taipei, where she worked as a school teacher. This decision was based on the consideration of the fact that we needed a 24 hour care for Chenny during the work days yet Guo Yeye/Nainai couldn’t do it physically. This decision was cruel to all of us especially Guo Yeye/Nainai.

Chenny’s second babysitter was Du Ayi, aunty Du, an ex-hospital-nurse. Du Ayi was at her early 30’s when Chenny was under her care, much younger and fit to be able to look after Chenny. And Chenny was with her for the following two years till my wife enrolled him in the junior kindergarten in a kindergarten ran by Presbyterian Church in Danshui.

In September 1992, we were to leave Taiwan permanently for immigration to New Zealand when Chenny was nearly 5 years old. Again this decision hit Guo Yeye/Nainai hurtfully. They came to Danshui to say goodbye to Chenny and presented him a gold necklace as shown in the picture, and two albums of stamp collection.

Life is impermanent, one day in November 2008 we were informed of Guo Yeye’s death and his funeral being on the 16^th of December. We were not able to attend his funeral and Tessie, our daughter, happened to be travelling to Taiwan for holiday in December so we made Tessie our representative to pay respect to Guo Yeye.

Tessie sent back updates regularly during her stay in Taiwan. She told me that according to Guo Nainai, they included Chenny in their family list on the obituary notice. This conveyed a significant meaning that they seriously treat Chenny their own grandson. And what made us most uneasy was the e-mail that Tessie sent back after her attendance in Guo Yeye’s funeral. She said in the e-mail it was Guo Yeye’s will to give some money to Chenny as ‘hand-tail money’, a local custom, symbolising handing-down of responsibility of the dead to his descendant, and Guo Nainai had asked her to pass the money to Chenny when she returned to New Zealand.

This post is to commemorate a loving-kind elderlies whose love to his adopted grandson is so altruistic, and to serve as a forever reminder to Chenny about this spiritual tie between him and Guo Yeye.